2012

Salam..
Alhamdulillahi 'ala kulli hal wa nikmat
praises to Allah for all affairs and blessings.
so a year ago i made this statement:

for now, i can say that insyaAllah, i am going to focus on just, being a muslim for 2012...
that's it. just, being a muslim. nothing more, nothing less :)
insyaAllah, let us strive.

*refer to http://yusrijamal.blogspot.com/2011/12/2011.html

alhamdulillah, 2012 went well, and i've learnt a lot.
i am exactly where i want to be a year ago
and Allah blessed me not just with that, but He gave me more than i've planned and asked for.
alhamdulillah I am so blessed.

the few very important lessons that i've learnt in 2012 is :

1. Allah is the best of planner. - ali imran:54 
2. "If you have warm, fresh bread today, does yesterday's rotten bread, or tomorrow's anticipated bread matter?" - la tahzan

 since ma'al hijrah wasnt so long ago, i guess the resolution still stands:

i shall talk less, and walk more.
i shall think less, and do more.
i shall be constant in my routines and ibadah.
i shall be firm in my principles, never to compromise.

just on top of that, i'd like to add:

I shall spend money in the right place and at the right time

Truthfully i feel bad about spending money on snowboarding last week.
i spent 70 bucks on just 4 hours of snowboarding.
not that snowboarding is a bad thing (and dont get me wrong, it was fun, i loved it), but i just feel so bad to waste that amount of money on such a small thing.
i just feel that there are many other places that needs my money more.

ya Allah, guide my hand towards being just towards the money and wealth that you've given to me.

2013
insyaAllah 2013 is going to be a year of responsibility.
as i grow older and climb up the ladder, positions are meant to be filled.
responsibilities are meant to be taken.
it's going to be daunting, but if not a muslim individual, then who else will take on the challenge.
have faith, and charge.
thus, biizhnillah, 2013 will be a year where i can focus on being a responsible person; a responsible leader/follower, perhaps.

may Allah make me just in fulfilling my duties.
may Allah take away riya' from any positions that i take on.
may Allah detach me from the worldly matters that take so much of my time.
may Allah do the same for you too.
amiin. all the best for 2013.

attachments.

salam..

attachments; they can bring you down or they can make you stronger.
may Allah detach us from things that He doesnt like and attach us to what He loves.

kerja.

salam..

betapa buruknya tingkah laku manusia apabila hidup dalam jahiliyyah. sungguh, bekerja dengan yang bukan muslim telah membuka mata ini akan apa sebenarnya jahiliyyah.

jahiliyyah itu menipu dalam mencatat waktu mula dan akhir shif.
jahiliyyah itu menangguh kerja pada keesokan hari agar dapat menolak kerja kepada orang lain.
jahiliyyah itu apabila berdisiplin ketika kehadiran majikan dan sebaliknya ketika ketiadaan mata memandang.
jahiliyyah itu memanjangkan waktu rehat yang sepatutnya hanya sebentar.
jahiliyyah itu dengan berpura-pura selesai kerja sedangkan tidak dilakukan pun kerja yang sepatutnya.

eh, tapi orang muslim pun buat kan semua tu?

persoalannya, betulkah "muslim" kalau begitu?

amat buruklah jika diri ini hanya mengkritik jahiliyyah tetapi tidak berusaha untuk menyampaikan dakwah.

tapi, persoalan yang terakhir timbul di fikiran; "bagaimana nak dakwah kepada yang bukan Islam?"

hmm.

Absolute Precision

Salaam warahmatullah...

the sun is still far from the horizon,
the air is filled with cold mist.
the world seemed lifeless.
as if all of life has died.
as if everything just stopped.
as if God has hit the pause button.
but wait, what is that sound ?
that one sound which goes in the background.
moving with absolute precision.
tick tock.
tick tock.
everything stops moving, but time keeps going.

"By time,
Indeed, mankind is in loss,
Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience." 
- Al-Asr(Time)

Tired.

Once uve stepped your foot into dakwah, then you'll truly realize how big and how much sacrifice has been made by the prophet muhammad saw and his companions.

Feeling in my heart

Salam..

Alhamdulillah today was a blessed day. Got a few emails that brighten up my day and still negotiating on some terms. Went to work today and got a goodie bag filled with candies and snacks from my boss.

Honestly,life has never been this wonderful.

And to be more honest, my heart has never been more burned with desire to succeed.
That feeling in my heart that i wont give up.
That feeling in my heart that i'll stand up and run.
That feeling in my heart that i'm never gonna stop trying.
Alhamdulillahi ala kulli hal..
La hawla wala quwwata illa billah..

Im nt worried abt what motivates me. Im worried that i will be in too much debt with Allah with all the blessings that He gave, that i am unable to serve him the way He deserves. Im worried that im not thankful enough.

Please pray that i wont forget abt Allah. Please pray that i'll forever be grateful.

Oh allah i do not wish for a lighter load, but a stronger body to get thru the days, and a grateful heart that always remember You.

Hoping for the best >.<

waqaf

salam warahmatullah..

teringat kata-kata sheikh ali jaber,

"aku telah waqafkan diri aku kepada Allah"(or something similar)

menarik bile pikir yg die bukan saje waqafkan duit, or tenaga, tp waqafkan DIRI die utk Allah swt..
maknenye die sacrifice segala kesenangan dunia, kegembiraan berkeluarga, kehidupan yang tenang dan tidak sibuk, hanya untuk Allah..

whenever kite nak buat sesuatu yang kite rase baik untuk Allah, tp kite fikir macam2 bende akan affected(like takde masa untuk family), think about ape sacrifice yg kite buat kalau bende macam tu un tak sanggup.

well, life is full of sacrifices. especially if you're on a path to heaven.

moga2 diri ini tidak terlupa dan dibuai dengan bayangan duit. nauzubillahimin zhalik.

Crazy week

Salaam warahmatullah..

It has been a crazy week. Wait, scratch that. Its been a crazy month. Ill spare the details n lets get to the juicy part.

Im currently lying down on the backseat of a ford fusion, on my way from washington dc to new york. Tired. Yes. But alhamdulillahi ala kulli hal. I was in dc for an entrepreneurship bootcamp and alhmdulillah i made some awesome networking.

I met an mba graduate from mit who's starting a web startup. He's almost exactly like what i want to be. A bsc n masters in IT, worked with a big 4 audit firm, and just got his mba done from mit, and starting up a company. Surprisingly similar to my dreams.

From our conversation, he seems excited of the idea of me being a developer in his company. Considering the thought of working with him in boston has really made me thinking of my options. I might be heading to boston either in the next couple of weeks or next summer. I dont know. But all i wanna do now is get on board with him, and learn a lot from him.

Idk what lies ahead in the future,this could be the start of something big, but for now, alhamdulillahi ala kulli haal..

halal.

salam..

it's the end of a semester and im hearing so many fights/breakups from my friends.
well i think that's pretty normal especially at this stressful end of a semester.

but the thing is, why did you get into it in the first place?
there's a reason why such act is not halal.
Allah does not forbid something simply because He can.

work on it.

assalamualaikum warahmatullah...

each and every one of us has a part to play in the world.
the list of major corporations owned by israel is endless.
now what does that suggest to you?
think short term and u'll say boycott.
think long term and you'll get off your seat and start thinking about how to take over the economy.
it's nt gonna be easy, but remember, the prophet's closest sahabahs weren't poor people, or even average joes.

Jahiliyyah

Assalamualaikum..

if you wanna understand what is the difference between jahiliyyah and Islam, then take a risk and put your foot in the water. join in the crowd and see with your own eyes. observe what they do and ask them about why they do certain things.
and u'll realize what difference Islam brings. you'll realize how much lies these people are living in. how much they have been lying to themselves as much as they've been lying to other people.

and when you're done getting your foot wet, get back to living your lives and see the difference between these two lives. if there's no difference then i recommend you get yourselves checked. :)

keep pushing.

as tiring as life may be,
the ultimate resting place is the hereafter.

la hawla wala quwwata illa billah

so close.

Salam..
for the first time in my life, i cant wait to have a winter break to actually do something productive.
i've been too caught up doing things for school that i'm not doing anything beneficial(in a non-academical sense).

cant wait for the next 5 weeks to end ! :)

just do it ?

salam..

being superbusy here at RPI. i constantly tell myself that i'll do it(whatever 'it' may be) whevener im not busy (ie, maybe next week will be better)

but then i realized, im never gonna be un-busy.
so might as well just do it(whatever 'it' may be) anyways!

:)

4 Weeks

alhamdulillah.. done with 4 credits. another 16 to go to finish Sophomore year.
insyaAllah by early January i'll be in Junior year(credit-wise, that is); one step closer to the end of degree.
time passes by so fast, masyaAllah.

the next 4 weeks, however, is gonna be long and crazy.

as you can see, we've just proposed a project on redesigning a company website along with a database with login features and such. it's due in about 5 weeks. and it's gonna be a first time for me to design a site with such functionality. im only praying the best and hoping to learn a lot from it insyaAllah. :)

if you can spare me a prayer, that'd be great. may Allah bless you. :)

Wishes

Salam..

it's words like these that motivates me to get out of bed in the morning.

may Allah bless him for all his efforts.

effort.

salam..

u dont need more time. just more effort.

Jahiliyah

Salam...

sesungguhnya islam itu datang sebagai cahaya yang menerangi kegelapan jahiliyyah.
jadi jikalau tangan dan kaki kita sama seperti tangan dan kaki mereka yang jahil;
bagaimana hati ini boleh berbeda?

PS: writing this post whilst listening to loud music coming from neighbors partying. may allah distinguish us from the darkness.

'ala kulli hal

salam warahmatullah..

alhamdulillah. tsumma alhamdulillah.
Finally reached the big number 20.

i feel content with myself, i feel content with my life, i feel content with the people around me, and i feel content with my past.

with all the hardships that we go through, it makes us stronger, and we learn from it.
i'd have nothing to say but alhamdulillah.

alhamdulillah for giving me guidance. for showing me what is right and what is wrong.
alhamdulillah for my parents. for if i was born in another family, my life would be totally different.
thank you mom. if there's one person that deserves to be in heaven, it'd be you. for all the advice that you gave, the principles that you instilled on me, i pray that there's no lower reward than jannah.

thank you dad, even if you died 10 years ago, the thought of you and all the things that you have contributed for your country, your family and for everybody's future has pushed me to my limits. you made me think that nothing is impossible.

last of all, i'd say alhamdulillahi 'ala kulli hal..

Dont Know

salam..

i spent a majority of my life having really high perception on myself over other people.

call me narcissistic, but im just being honest.

i am just really comfortable with myself and i feel really confident.

but when I started to get to know my classmates, co-workers and acquaintances at RPI, i know where i belong on the totem pole. my feet are finally grounded again.

it's been almost 3 weeks and i havent received any job offers from companies at the career fair.

seeing people walking around campus in suits going for interviews really do make me feel like i dont have a chance.

well honestly i didnt plan on getting an internship but somehow something just pushed me to apply.(i honestly dont know why).

i figured that i'd give it a shot and see how it goes.

but it turns out that it is tougher than i thought; the wait is killing me!

if the companies would just call and tell me that i was rejected, then i'd be totally fine.

dont keep me waiting, dear companies.

i just spent almost half of today trying to figure out a piece of code and i still cant understand it.

the best part is, the part of code that i was trying to make sense of, is not really the answer to my lab questions, it's just an explanation of how the answer could be obtained.

in a sense, an answer to get an answer. (im not making sense, am i?)

it's really stressful to be the only one taking some of the courses that im taking right now.

but you know what? what doesnt kill you makes you stronger.

i am currently abstaining myself from any sort of human dependency; let it be for support, or for love.

because at the end of the day, it does make you a stronger person. well at least i hope so.

brain is about to explode because of all this but i am glad that Allah is always with me when i wake up in the morning and when i shut my eyes at night.

we should all train ourselves to rely on no one but Allah.

the road to righteousness is not easy, but it's one beautiful ride if you're with Allah.

i shall sleep now. tomorrow shall be a crazier day. and i shall strive my best insyaAllah

more of a reminder to myself, then everyone else: dont worry about the results. just focus on the means.

wallahualam..

salam warahmatullah..

PS : tomorrow's first day of zulhijjah! the first ten days of zulhijjah is aweehsoomeee (do google if you do not know what i mean) =D

College Really Do Suck

salam..
here's the truth.
i may seem like a guy who knows what he's doing, where he's going, how he's gonna get there, and can put up a smile almost all the time,
but that doesnt mean life is all rainbows for me.
im sweating my brains out just to PASS algorithms this year, i've spent countless of times having bad time management, and i've probably regretted most of my decisions at the end of any day (like how i fell asleep after subuh today)

what im trying to say is, everyone is going through the same crazy stuff that ur going through, they just choose not to project the negativity to the rest of the world. people put up a smile not because they're hypocrites, but because a smile(fake or not) really does make you forget about ur problems for awhile and let you live the moment.

just because we have problems, it doesnt mean we should give up. just remember, if your parents or grandparents or great grandparents have made it through life, raised kids (and grandkids), and provide food on your table so that you can live and breathe the air ur breathing right now.
we are the hopes of our fathers and our grandfathers. imagine the hopes that your father have on you the moment u were born; how any father would want nothing but the best for his kids.

now that you're all grown up, it's time to give back nothing but the best for YOUR father. and to YOUR future kids
problems will continue to exist in life, the difference is, whether YOU choose to run away from it, or face it like a MAN (or woman). running away from problems is only going to lead to you having more and more problems. so why not get over the hurdle and dash to the finishing line?

remember, in genetic terms, every born child has a better aptitude than both their parents combined.
if they made it through, why not you ?

Allah has made it such that we are all able to carry the burden that we face.
if you have a huge burden that you have to carry, it means that Allah has made it such that you are stronger than that.
Allah is fair. Put your faith in Him and strive the best that you can for His sake.
because he has given you that warm comforter that you sleep in, the pair of shoes that you wear to class, and that expensive laptop that you are using to read this post.
you owe it to the things that he has given to you, to work for His cause.

so live the moment(im not asking you to party), and focus on what you can do now. forget about the past because its not coming back, put aside your future because its not here yet. focus on what you can do NOW(after reading this post).

"if you have warm fresh bread today, does yesterday's rotten bread, and tomorrow's anticipated bread matter?" - la tahzan (dont be sad)

you have no idea how much this post is directed to me more than to the rest of you.

wallahu'alam..

resume

salaam.. so i spent the last two weeks preparing my resume, updating it and changing it over and over again until i got it right. i realized that resume writing is not something easy as writing an essay. and i've been trying to find resumes online but they're just so hard to get. especially the good ones.

i've censored all the sensitive infos and left all the parts that i dont mind showing to public eye.

i've made two resumes: the second one is the one that i sent to employers in the US, and the first is made for malaysian employers. you can see slight changes that i did to suit different cultural aspects.

so here's my resume:

note: a resume is made to make you sound awesome. i am not as good as what my resume says. haha

hope it helps! salaam..

MIT Sloan

salaam..
found a flyer on campus about Masters in Finance at MIT Sloan School of Management
immediately updated bucket list. haha

NEW addition to bucket list: MIT Sloan School of Management. hehe =D

ok, ayuh study.

Khairul Makirin..

salaam..

FUNNY thing happened.
i am somehow in a position where i am preparing for a career fair.
i dont know WHAT happened or WHO pushed me to go,
but i just decided to.. GO.
hmm..
so this morning i had just finished my comp science exam and i was thinking of doing some Web Systems work somewhere. somehow my heart was led to go to the IT lounge in which i havent hung out there since last Spring. somehow Allah led me there.
suddenly Lessa came and offered to print my resume. i told her my resume is not done yet(coz i just decided a couple of days ago that i wanted to go to the career fair). aaaand i got free resume papers from Linda right before i left the lounge.
well, i didnt really know that there is such a thing as resume papers. somehow Allah led me to meet with these people and even got me something that i didnt expect(and didnt know abt); resume papers.
while i was at the IT lounge, i was also informed that GE(kinda like the TNB of america) is recruiting people who dont have working experience. sounds like me.
so a couple of days ago i bought a book called "Ace the IT Job Interview" buut i still havent read it because it just arrived today and im still at work.

so after im finished with accounting and work, im gonna go ahead and prepare for tomorrow. in which i never really planned in the first place.

i really dont know why im going to the career fair tomorrow.
somehow my heart says, 'go'.

wamakaru wamakarallah. innallahukhairul makiriin
you plan and allah plans, verily allah is the best of planners.

put me in ur prayers, guys.

blessed.

salam..
was looking around me and i realized how much luxury, facilities, wealth and blessing that Allah has given me. and i question myself, "what have you done with those blessings, bro?"

may Allah guide us towards having gratitude towards our blessings, and to use them properly.

more of a reminder to myself, than to you.

Subhanallah!

Salam... Yesterday i received an email from my mom out of nowhere to check out a website abt miracles of islam. N last night, a friend of mine asked me abt hw to approach a non muslim.
I gave her the website that my mom gave me.

Subhanallah.. Clearly a guidance from allah.

I shall check my email more often!

just woke up

salam..
wake up in the morning and think; "what kind of deeds can i do towards mankind today?"

Productive

salam..
honestly, i love being busy. i love juggling between different responsibilities and playing different roles all at the same time.
i love how one minute i am doing my programming homework and the next, im sending my bills to MARA, right afterwards, im updating my mom's website, and now moving on to doing social psych homework. all of which is done while i am working at the moment. haha
call me eccentric. but i love being busy. i love having no time off in the day, and getting back home at 9 o'clock.
it makes me feel, productive. useful.
i think the worst days of my life would be when i am at home, doing nothing.
i just hate that feeling of being useless.
i cant imagine retiring from work. even if i do retire, i'd probably still work. haha hope that makes sense.

all i need is a day off in a week, and the rest of the night to get some rest and do a little self-checking with Allah and with myself.

i fell sick last week and had a massive stomachache for two days.
it was so intense that it woke me up from sleep, and i lost 2kg from that. haha
i can say that i was somewhat paralyzed from that pain, it hurt so bad that i just couldnt do anything.
that was when i realized how much i havent been appreciating the health that Allah has given to me.
truly, only when we lose something do we appreciate it.

moral of the story : appreciate your health and youth. be useful for Allah, for society, for yourself.
make use of the time in the day to be productive. and use the night as a recovery or as a means of obtaining peace.

which reminds me of a talk from bilal assad, dont be a "donkey in the day, and a corpse at night."(he said it in arabic, which sounds way cooler).
basically what it means is, dont just work in the day and then sleep for the rest of the night.
pray, recite, sleep, and wake up for tahajjud

wallahu'alam.. back to work !

problems

from the way i see it is that the world is filled with sooo many other problems that needs to be solved with Islam than just getting married.
perhaps it's because im surrounded by very successful non-muslims and not-so-successful muslims(on secular terms that is). perhaps because there is a huge line that is dividing the two groups; in which that line is knowledge.

Responsibilities

So much responsibilities. Only god knows whats gonna happen. Wtv it is, allah knows best. Just do what u gotta do, bro

1/14

salam..
2nd week of classes already ? which means, 1/14 weeks are done.
13 weeks to go. and soon before i realize it, i'll be graduating insyaAllah..
oh Allah do not make me amongst those who waste their time on wasteful matters.

woops

salam..

accidentally deleted all the pictures from my blog when i was sync-ing from my phone.

now everything's dull. 

woot2.

sorry peeps.

1377.6 Kilometers of fun.

Salam.. 

so we went beraya-ing at some houses during the last couple of days.

Friday : Troy-Buffalo.

Saturday : Buffalo-Troy

Sunday : Troy-Connecticut-Troy.

total trip : 880 miles = 1377.6 kilometers

and i drove about 80% of the trip. fell asleep and almost got into an accident once. alhamdulillah phewhh

wooh what a ride, i tell ya.

now, it's time to hit the sacks.

eyes are shutting down..

*sleeps.

First Day

Dear Future Son/Daughter,

It's my first day of work at the Architecture Library and I want you to know that i'm thinking about you as I am working.
I hope I can get enough money so that you'll live an interest(riba')-free life.
I hope you'll eat  food from a halal source, and take shelter from a house bought from halal money.
Whoever you are, when you read this, I hope you're living a life full of blessings.
I hope you're liberated from the materialistic world - a world where people judge each other based on what they own/wear; a world where people would go to great lengths to purchase a big car, or own a house; even when they're living on their monthly paycheck.
I hope you're off to a great start.

Sincerely,
Dad.
years before you were born.